Things to do when you're bored

If you're reading this, you're either really bored but too lazy to leave the comfort of your home to go out and do something, you're procrastinating doing work for some summer class you don't actually care about and just want to get credit for while doing minimal work, or you have no friends. In any case, here is a list of things to do when you're bored:

1. Online shopping. But not for yourself! No, that would be far too easy. The goal here is to waste away as many hours of your boredom as possible, so why not try something a little more challenging? Find a random present for a friend instead, and send them a surprise package.
2. Take selfie shots. Because every time someone posts one of these on Facebook, the caption is "lollll i was just bored." Although we all know that's a lie. Don't worry, we are all narcissists at heart. 
3. Listen to this song. It's weirdly catchy. Who knows what sort of strange ideas it will inspire?
4. Cut your hair. Trust me, it's a win-win situation. If it turns out well, you can spend the rest of the day admiring your new look and telling your friends about how you cut your own hair. And if it turns out poorly...well, you'd have to spend even more time fixing it, so you've cured yourself of boredom, at least.
5. Drugs. Just kidding, drugs are bad. Not that I'll have a problem with you if you're into that kind of thing, but at least do it at a party or a rave or something. Not because you're bored...that's just depressing.
6. Order out and watch a movie online. Seriously, there is nothing better than eating some deliciously unhealthy Chinese takeout while watching a movie online -- one of those movies that you meant to watch while it was out in the theaters, but never really got around to it...until now!
7. Look at old pictures and tumblr/xanga/blogspot posts. (Yeah, remember xanga?) You can pass a surprising amount of time rereading old posts and finding amusement in the fact that you no longer remember the reasons behind many of those angst filled rantings.
8. Watch porn. (Relax, I just put this one in for some comic relief.) But you could, if you want. Just don't get a virus on your computer or anything. 
9. Meditate. It sounds dumb, but sometimes just closing your eyes and not thinking about anything for a while can really do you some good. Try it.
10. Make a blog. Or if you already have one, write a post called "Things to do when you're bored." It worked for me.

Got any other ideas? This post took up a good half hour or so, but now I'm bored again.

I believe the world is burning to the ground

It's so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that while I was happily hanging out with my friends last night, innocent people who just wanted to have a nice night at the movies were dying in a mass shooting. Teenagers saw their friends with blood on their shirts, couples on dates ran screaming from the theater, and a 6 year old child was shot. What was the shooter trying to prove?

Once upon a time...

when I was but a wee little girl, I decided to start a blog. You see, I was a blossoming young poet who wanted to share her rhymes of woe to the big bad world and gain fame and fortune from the tear drenched words in which I described with great detail how my ten year old heart was broken from unrequited love. Alas, my mother gave me a long lecture on the dangers of the internet and how a naive little girl such as myself could easily be manipulated by some evil cyberstalker. Although I obstinately denied this insult to my maturity and proudly declared that I used a fake name on my profile, my brand new poetry blog was no longer in existence by the next morning.

A few years ago, I once again decided in a moment of great inspiration that I wanted to start a blog. I did, in fact, successfully maintain this blog for several years, but after a while, its introspective and philosophical nature made it tiresome to write on. I hated that I couldn't make a post unless it had some deep moral behind it...or maybe I just became more shallow and ran out of things to say. In any case, while I sat on my bed feeling fat for not working out today, I thought I'd take a shot at making a brand new blog, one with a name so terribly not philosophical that I could feel free to write about everything and anything I please. As for why I chose this specific name...well, I've been told that I tell the worst stories. I think I have a habit of giving too many details and getting far too excited about things that other people don't care about in the slightest. And since I do not want to prove that this disability of mine is true and prevent you from ever visiting this blog again, I will promptly stop my rambling here and go make myself some dinner.