Can I be honest?
I feel like I am floating. And I don’t know what it is I’m
floating in, but I think I am floating in you. And you. And you and you and
everyone I know. I am a drifter in all your thoughts, your memories, and
dreams. I am a ghost, or a whisper, or a trail of smoke disappearing beneath
your skin.
Someone once asked me what my biggest fear was. Spiders?
He asked. Death? The dark? But I said, No, my biggest fear is being forgotten.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something was missing
within me, that my identity was not complete. I am often unsatisfied with who I
am. I feel simple. I feel lonely. I am silly. I am a girl with a name, but not
a name that is spoken very often.
I wish there was something striking about me. You know?
Like charisma, or talent, or intelligence. Something that would put be apart
from everyone else. I am not unhappy, or depressed, or sad.
But sometimes – can I be honest? – I feel so ordinary.
