Evolution of journal entries, from 2000 to 2013...


Hello. My name is Brooke. I went to New York today. I did reserch about planets, stars, galaxies, and the Universe. It was cool. I sat on my dad’s lap. The first time I did reserch it got lost. But Steve gave me his. Steve is very nice. I saw a space moovie it looked like I was really in a space ship and was in space! I think YOU should and want to go to new york. New York is the coolest place I ever went!


Hi today I went to the Yankees Statem. I saw a baseball game. I ate Bagle Hot Dog and Penuts also some Coke. I had Binoculars. I think the view from the top level was nice but too scary. I didn’t now that the Yankees play so bad. It was Mariners 11 and Yankees 1. Can you beleave that? I baut a teddy Bear. We went to the Yankees Statem because it was Steve’s 10th Birthday! I didn’t know they had to hit so far to get a Home Run. Bernie Williams was the only one who hit a Home Run! Going to the Yankees game was the !BEST! trip ever!!!!


Today I had a wonderful day. I went golfing and ate at a resrant called: East Grand Buffet. When I came back home I biked around. Later at around 8:00 my family played a game. My Dad would write a sentense and then someone would act it out. The other people would have to guess what the sentense is.


Right now I’m flying high in the air. I can see the clouds! The plane that I’m on is quite fast! I’m really bored. I can’t wait till my family gets to California. I really want to meet my cousins because my family is going to California to meet them! I know I already said I was bored but right now, I’m REALLY bored the only thing I want to do right now is write. I can’t wait till I get to California!


I want to catch the sun, to hoard the stars just to comfort myself, assure myself I’ve done something worth doing in my 14 years but I’m regretting every day, every word I speak. It’s not just that summer is coming to an end. It’s that I’m afraid to lose. And I might not be losing everything, but God knows I’ve lost the past. No matter where I look I can’t find that little sliver of confidence I once had. I can’t find those smiles that came so easily, I can’t find those days when I was content with what I had.


In the dark hours of the night, when the seen become unseen, is when the unseen is seen more vividly than ever before.


Sometimes I wonder, and it bothers me that I should wonder, but sometimes I wonder what’s ahead of me to look forward to. I look around, and I know I’d rather live than die. Yet at the same time, I wonder what I’m living for. I wish life was a merry-go-round. I could be happy with getting nowhere.


What defines a person? His actions? His words? His dreams? Ugh. It’s 4:05am. On such sleepless nights, what are dreams anyways?


I failed to keep up with this journal, just as I knew I would. I wish I could just fast-forward to the final goal: a beautifully filled journal, each page completely covered by words written in such a blur of passion that they are almost tumbling into each other within the confines of these lines, straining to express the details of my life. Yes, that is what I want to hold in my hands one day – a completed journal.


Chilling at Starbucks for half an hour before work. I really want to own a cafĂ© someday. I don’t know why I love coffee shops so much; I guess it’s because it’s full of thinking people. It’s a small little place where inspiration hits, where dreams form their blueprints, where imagination becomes reality.


I’ve always been scared of drinking alcohol when I am sad. I know that it will probably actually make me feel better and that the next time I am sad I’ll think that drinking is the solution. But tonight I will make an exception because I am lonely in my room and beer is the only drink in the fridge. I have “Great Expectations” by The Gaslight Anthem on repeat right now and I’m not sure why but somehow it just fits my mood. One of these days, I’m going to figure it all out. I’m going to know exactly who I am and what I want, where I’m going and how to get there. I’m going to be the best I can be and nobody is going to stop me. I don’t usually make promises unless I know I can keep them, but I guess this will be my second exception of the night. Because tonight, I promise to find myself.

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